A Guide to Reciprocal Mentorship
Photo by Joey Sackett
I am an adult learner and someone who has been historically excluded from outdoor sports. I stayed away from the ski world for many years because it always seemed like the embodiment of extreme wealth and gatekeeping culture. Growing up in the Midwest I had friends who owned ski cottages and flew to Colorado for ski trips. Ski culture quickly turned me off as I knew it was a place where I, a brown-skinned Colombiana from an immigrant background, would never belong.
As I continue to be an advocate in the outdoors, I am now realizing that we have the power to create any kind of ski culture we want. But we can’t do this alone. In fact, we shouldn’t do it alone. An important part of collective liberation is bringing people with us, and building something collaboratively.
We have so many more options as to who a skier is. Investing in reciprocal mentorship is a great way to create this change.
1. Know your worth
Repeat after me: my value is inherent, my power cannot be taken away. When we are new to a sport we are often seen as “empty vessels” waiting to be filled. Be wary of mentors who believe in this mentality. Holding value as a mentee is something that mentors can benefit from in ethical and unethical ways. This is especially true for folks who exist on the margins of access to the outdoors. As a woman of color in the ski industry, I feel the need to protect my value, power, and energy. A mentor who doesn’t recognize your inherent value will not be interested in learning from you. This will lead to a hierarchical relationship instead of a reciprocal one.
Some of my favorite ski mentors. From left to right: Dani Reyes-Acosta, Caroline Gleich, Sophia Schwartz, Caroline Drayton
2. Be selective
Guess what? You get to pick your mentors just as much as they get to pick you! It may not always seem this way, especially when you are wanting access to knowledge you’ve never had before. But the right person will come along, even if it takes a little longer. I see the mentor selection process similar to an interview process: make sure you are interviewing them just as much as they are interviewing you! If your goals don’t align, it’s okay to decline the opportunity.
I have had athletes and brands approach me and offer opportunities that sound too good to be true. The opportunities that I have a negative gut reaction to are usually rooted in white supremacy and virtue signaling instead of decolonization and inclusion. Some athletes and brands will want to work with you just because you’re brown and it’s good for their optics. It’s important to take up space here by feelings things out and asking all of the questions you need to assure yourself that you are entering a safe space.
There is also space for you to terminate a mentorship at anytime.; it’s okay to reassess and let go of relationships you outgrow.
3. Know your goals
Photo by Joey Sackett
The best ways to communicate and advocate for yourself are by knowing exactly what you want and what you don’t want. It is important to ground yourself in your goals so you always have them to come back to. These goals can be centered around personal achievement, improving the culture of the sport, or building community.
Taking up space in a sport that is so often objective-based and deeply steeped in narratives of colonization and dominion can be disorienting. Your goals don’t have to always be physically challenging. Your goals don’t have to be prescribed by the goals of other people in the sport. You can define what success looks like for you. My main goals with skiing are to share joy with friends and spend lots of time outside in the winter. That’s enough for me.
4. Give yourself a break
It’s easy to fall into patterns of comparison, which can leave you feeling deficient real quick. Remember to be kind and gentle to yourself. Treat yourself how you would a friend. Create space for physical and emotional check-ins with your mentor. Remember that you are creating access for yourself in a space full of people who were born into this access.
I often compare myself to people who have had access to skiing all of their lives. This is a product of our narratives of meritocracy in the snow sports world: “that person is a better skier than you because they work harder”. While there is some truth to this, we cannot make inequalities of access invisible. My best ways to combat feelings of deficiency or impostor syndrome are to set intentional goals and surround myself with friends and mentors who can help me remember them.
“When you exist in spaces that weren’t built for you, remember sometimes that just being you is the revolution”
Photo by Joey Sackett