Melanin Base Camp

View Original

10 Affordable Third Places Left in Your City

iStock

When I was younger, it felt like free or affordable third places were everywhere, from the basketball court behind my grandma’s house to the library that watched us kids for hours at a time. Now as an adult, I know of very few that don’t require a credit or debit card. So, I try to budget for third places where I can hang out with friends, meet new people, and participate in community life. However, even that feels harder to do these days. Wages aren’t keeping up with inflation, housing, or healthcare—not to mention U.S. tipping culture. Financially, it makes much more sense for me to stay home and consume my phone—social media, subscriptions, streaming services and all.

If this describes your life, you are not alone. But you shouldn’t give up just yet either. Here are ten affordable third places left in your city in 2024.

1. Your Local Library

See this content in the original post

Get a library card and stop paying for $8 lattes + 25% suggested tip so you can squeeze in a few guilt-free hours on cafe Wi-Fi.

Library Wi-Fi is free.

Stop staging meet cutes on city transit when you could meet cute library people instead. Stop paying for Audible when you could use Libby; stop buying books when you could simply check them out; and stop paying for co-working spaces when you could reserve a study room for free. Some libraries even lend non-traditional items like sewing machines or trekking poles. You can also drop in on a lecture, book talk, or knitting class.

There’s a reason public libraries are number one on this list. They have a lot to offer. Getting started is also super easy. Go to the front desk and let the librarian know that you’d like to get a library card. 

2. Your Local Independent Bookstore

We’re not telling you to drop $30 on a hardcover to add to the stack on your nightstand, but if you feel the urge, please do it at your local independent bookstore. Many also host free in-person and online book clubs.

I live in a medium-sized city in the U.S. and our local bookstores host author talks, community events, trivia nights, happy hours, tarot readings, private events and monthly book clubs for romance, speculative fiction, Black fiction, and queer and trans BIPOC fiction. No, I can’t guarantee that any of these will be safe spaces for People of Color but it’s worth a try. Does “What are you reading,” still work as a conversation starter? Let us know.

3. Your Local LGBTQ+ Event Space

If you’re looking for a third place to call home, your local LGBTQ+ event space might be it. This tip is for queer folks only.

See this content in the original post

Why? It’s because the overall picture is grim, with LGBTQ+ establishments on a decades-long decline—despite their history of activism, community, and generally offering a safe(r) space for LGBTQ+ folks to connect without the imminent danger of being assaulted.

In 1976, there were 2,500 gay bars across the U.S according to Bloomberg Business News; today only 803 remain open. Similarly, in the late 1980s, there were an estimated 200 lesbian bars in the U.S.; today only 29 lesbian bars are still operating. Over the years, LGBTQ+ bars have closed due to complex factors with lesbian bars among the hardest hit establishments.

Lesbian bars—which typically serve women, trans men and nonbinary people—have historically faced more economic pressure because their patrons “tend to have less “leisure dollars” due to pay inequity and discrimination”, wrote Sarah Marloff in an article for Smithsonian Magazine. Multiple GoFundMe campaigns and media initiatives like The Lesbian Bar Project are fundraising to keep these third places available to the community.

Now more than ever, it’s important to support your local LGBTQ+ bar as long as they offer a safe space for the community. I’m adding the qualifier because white queer spaces have a documented history of discriminating against queer and trans People of Color. And unfortunately, bars serving People of Color have been hit hardest by the overall decline according to Greggor Mattson, Associate Professor of Sociology, Oberlin College. 

However, bars aren’t the only queer and trans event spaces. After all, underground ballroom culture originated in “community center basements and YMCA halls” according to The Guardian. There are also LGBTQ+ cafes, crystal shops, and wellness collectives that offer a range of events from coffee and conversation to meditation and astrology readings. LGBTQ+ social groups also meet at climbing gyms, yoga studios, trailheads, cafes, bookstores, and more—if you’re looking for a sober and substance free event, they’re out there.

LGBTQ+ bars are also evolving. My local lesbian bar offers trivia nights, craft nights, coffee chats, reading nights, speed friending, BIPOC meetups and more.

Find a LGBTQ+ event space in your area, and go meet other queer and trans folks!

4. Your Local Park

Pro-tip: parks are a great place to exercise, but dog parks are better if you’re looking to socialize and make new connections. Disclaimer: this works best if you look like everyone else. Racism, colorism and ableism are, unfortunately, always in play.

If you don’t have a dog, a regular park is the way to go. Especially if the trail is paved and relatively flat—you’re more likely to meet a broader cross-section of people. Now, we’re not suggesting you hike alone. That’s not the best advice for meeting new people—especially if you’re a Black or darker-skinned individual. People may actively avoid you and many people don’t like being approached while they’re hiking or walking alone.

I recommend using Meetup.com to find a free hiking group in your area, sign up and then show up (the hardest part). My city is home to a few different hiking meetups; however, most of them skew whiter and older. The group hikes also tend to be more challenging than what I’m interested in. No, Nancy, I don’t want to do a 12-mile ‘moderate to hard’ hike to prepare for next month’s big trip. That sounds awful. If this sounds like your city, you might find younger and more diverse hiking groups through social media or Eventbrite.

When you go, don’t forget to bring your conversation starter—something that shows a little bit of your personality—like a reusable water bottle with stickers from your favorite shows/books, a college sweatshirt, your leashed pup, or your favorite pride earrings. Use your personal judgment: not all of us live in areas where we can feel safe doing that, but if you think it’s worth a try, I recommend showing up as your whole self.

If you’re still brushing off pre-pandemic social skills, you can always start with, “So, is this your first group hike?” That usually can get a conversation going. Even if your initial efforts don’t connect you with the friend group of your dreams, don’t give up. ‘No New Friends’ is the norm after a certain age and wearing people down takes time. But also, this is so much harder when you don’t look like everyone else or when you have darker skin.

5. Your Local Community Garden

It’s time to get your hands dirty! Volunteering at your local community garden is a way to meet your neighbors and to spend more time outside. 

If it feels like every city has a different approach to community gardens, it’s because they do. In my city, they are maintained by volunteers and regulated by the city parks and recreation office 

See this content in the original post

New York City has over 600 community gardens according to GrowNYC. After completing orientation, volunteers can help out at local “greenmarkets” or farmstands, food scrap pick-up and delivery to composting sites, special events and more. You can also use the Oasis map to find a community garden in your neighborhood. 

Portland Parks & Recreation partners with volunteers to maintain 60 community gardens within the city. You can find a garden and request a plot through their website, however, there are lengthy waitlists—up to two years—for plots in certain locations. You can also volunteer with Friends of Portland Community Gardens by working on-site, facilitating an event, etc. 

Denver Urban Gardens is an independent organization that helps maintain 200 community gardens and 20 food forests. The gardens are run independently of each other, however, average plot fees are $40 annually, with another $25 in organizational dues. Even though plots are maintained individually or by families, you’d still be working in a communal space with additional opportunities to volunteer and get to know fellow gardeners. 

Chicago Park District facilitates 70 community gardens on public land, including native plants, harvest gardens, children’s learning gardens and more. To find a garden or request a plot, check out their website. You can also join a Chicago Community Gardeners Association working group or volunteer at weekly or monthly work day.

Community gardens aren’t without issues and, as one TikTok creator pointed out, there can be a hyper fixation on property, surveillance and kicking out the unhoused that seems to miss the whole point. So if you get the chance to request a plot in a more diverse neighborhood, maybe do that. 

6. Your Local Farmer’s Market

I used to be team “dinner and drinks” but now I look for more affordable ways to meet up with friends, and farmer’s markets are one option. It’s not that they’re cheap. You will definitely have to dodge the vendors selling $10 “artisanal hand meat pies” that look suspiciously like empanadas but only taste half as good. But if you’re up to the challenge, this may be your new favorite third place. They’re usually held weekly or monthly which means you’ll have repeat interactions and the chance to support farmers, crafters, and more. 

Coffee shops aren’t the only third places with regulars. Be a regular at your local farmstand or farmer’s market. Bring your friends and a reusable grocery bag. Find a spot in the sun and enjoy a meal together. The friends that grocery shop together (and run errands together) are more likely to weather life’s storms together. Yes, I just made that up, but we can all agree that not every hangout needs to be “dinner and drinks” or a “night out”.

7. Your Local Pick-up Game

Free pick-up games aren’t dead, they’re just harder to find—especially as cities are increasingly gentrified by transplants who complain about commonplace things like noise, pizza rats and Brown people. I live in a city where adult sport leagues are everywhere, from kickball to volleyball to rowing. They are typically dominated by white twenty-somethings who spend a few years in the city before leaving and by white retirees. It’s a great way to make friends—if you look like them. Thankfully, that’s not the only option.

For the rest of us, there are free pick-up games of soccer and basketball provided you live in a neighborhood with actual Black and Brown people. These can be hard to find, as infrastructure in working class neighborhoods—parks, basketball courts, soccer fields—is often neglected into disrepair or permanently closed by city officials. 

Do locals want you there? Good question.

See this content in the original post

In an article for the Washingtonian, William Henagan described his first pick-up basketball game in Washington DC as “a bit tense. There was a lot of history crowded into that roughly 50-by-90-foot space.” 

He added that, “the [basketball] courts force the newcomers both to acknowledge that they’ve invaded a historically Black space and to face the subtle resentment that can bubble under the surface of a game in which teams end up mainly new versus old, white versus Black.”

That resentment may also apply to you even if you identify as Black or a Person of Color. Why shouldn’t it? If you are a transplant able to afford skyrocketing rent or an expensive mortgage in an “up-and-coming” neighborhood where longtime residents are being priced out, of course it applies. Even if you genuinely care about your new community that doesn’t absolve you from actively contributing to gentrification. If you want to play, keep showing up, be respectful and work on your FT%.

Don’t be like the new white techies in a Bay Area neighborhood who, in 2014, threatened to call the police on Black kids playing soccer on a field in San Francisco’s Mission neighborhood because they had ‘reserved’ that time slot for $27. Meanwhile, long term residents had played there for years without ever being required to make a reservation. The encounter was caught on video and eventually resulted in an apology and a change in city policy.

As many pointed out, public parks are funded by tax dollars and moves to further privatize their use should raise alarm bells. The Uptown Almanac had this to say: “Making public spaces quasi-private by charging usage fees is always going to restrict lower income resident’s access to parks—especially children’s.” 

Still interested? Check out your city’s parks and recreation page for a map of community-use athletic fields and basketball courts. Or ask around. 

8. Your Local Faith Organization

You don’t have to be outdoorsy to find free or affordable third places in your town.

If it feels like religious communities hold a monopoly on third places outside of most major cities in the U.S., that’s because they do. In my twenties, I lived in small towns across the Southeast where even drip coffee came with a side of Jesus. I spent a lot of time hanging out at coffee shops with the same cookie-cutter Hobby Lobby decor and the same Christian contemporary music looping all day long. That’s not an exception to the rule, that’s the standard for rural America. There are few alternatives. If this is your reality, or if you identify as religious, you might want to check out faith organizations in your local area.

Faith communities can be extremely budget-friendly third places. They offer a lot of services for the community, such as free meals, free childcare, and caregiving respite—as they should—these are tax exempt organizations. Many also host free social events, from coffees to grief circles to AA meetings. And they are a good way to make friends, if you look and think like them.

No, it’s not for everyone, but if you’re interested in meeting people and you identify as spiritual, check out a faith organization near you.

You could explore your options and figure out what, if anything, feels right. Look up Buddhist meditation centers near you to find a free class or day-long retreat. Join a full moon celebration with your local Wiccan meetup. Enjoy a free, communal meal at the local gurdwara. Or check out your local queer-friendly BIPOC wellness group for tips on building an ancestral altar. Yes, there are many, many ways to explore your spirituality with like-minded people.

If you like your faith to come with a lot more rules and doctrine, check out your local church, temple, mosque or LDS ward. If this is appealing, I hope you find a spiritual practice that works for you and a faith community that offers genuine connections.

9. Your Local Skate Pavilion Or Indoor Rink

See this content in the original post

If you decided to lace up a pair of roller skates, would a hypothetical doctor sign off? If the answer is yes, check out your nearest skate pavilion. My city has a 3,300 ft concrete slab that offers in-season free skate rentals with a government issued ID. During the off-season, the pavilion is still open to public use. If you don’t already know how to skate, you could try searching for free or reduced cost lessons through Meetup.com or Eventbrite.com. You can also find free tutorials on YouTube.com.

If your city doesn’t have a massive skate pavilion, they might have an indoor roller skating rink where you can live out your “ATL” rhythm skating fantasy. My city has one indoor rink and it’s combined with pickleball courts which instantly lets me know they aren’t marketing towards Black folks or Latines. But the greenways, river walks and paved trails are free to skate.

According to Harry Martin, founder of Roller Wave House Brooklyn, Black skate culture originated during the Jim Crow era when rinks barred Black customers, except for one night a week that “was typically dubbed “Soul Night” or “Martin Luther King Jr. Night”” Despite this, Black skate styles, like Chicago-based “JB style”, Philly-based “fast backward” and DC-based “snapping” flourished. During the Civil Rights era, Black skaters also participated in skate-ins and found many ways to actively resist segregation. Unsurprisingly, after the 1964 Civil Rights Act was passed, many white-owned rinks closed permanently to avoid integration.

Roller skating is currently experiencing a revival. Regardless of your race, it’s the perfect time to learn to skate and to learn about skate history and culture.

10. Your Local Bubble Tea Shop

See this content in the original post

Wanna get boba? If you are craving the perfect hangout spot where you can meet up with friends, stop defaulting to your cookie-cutter neighborhood coffee shop that looks like every other cafe in the city. Go get bubble tea, or “boba” instead. You don’t have to be Asian to enjoy the milk tea and chewy tapioca balls, but don’t forget to thank “Asian American youth culture in L.A.” for popularizing this Taiwanese drink. Enjoy a third place that isn’t centered around whiteness.

In their Master of Arts dissertation, Talitha Angelica Acaylar Trazo, describes boba shops as places where Asian American youth feel less pressure to assimilate into or perform “white, middle class, suburban” identities. That’s because bubble tea shops are “racialized spaces” that don’t cater to white patrons. Instead, they help create and spread an Asian American youth culture that is distinct from the immigrant identities handed down by parents and the whiteness that society demands.

Boba shops are a reminder that third places exist for people who look like us. We deserve third places that nourish our racial identities—without requiring us to mask or code switch to fit in. We deserve third places that celebrate our queerness and our transness. We deserve spaces where we can feel safe—which is a big ask in the era of the 2016 Pulse Nightclub, the 2019 El Paso Walmart, the 2021 Atlanta spa, and the 2022 Buffalo supermarket mass shootings.

That doesn’t mean we should give up. Third places not only exist for people who look like us, we have the power to create them. So many outdoor affinity groups are doing just that, from Latino Outdoors campouts to Soy Sauce Nation’s Stir Fry East and Ebony Beach Club’s Juneteenth celebrations.

See this gallery in the original post